Emotional Pro

My friend and “Rejection Expert” Dr. Elayne Savage has positioned herself as an “expert.” I noticed she was consulted by a reporter to offer an opinion about road rage that was published this past weekend. There is a certain antipathy I have to positioning myself as an “expert,” perhaps because of what another friend, Kay Hammel, once said. “Experts don’t write books,” she said. “People who have things to learn write books!”
I look at what I have written; and they only verify Kay’s pronouncement. Everything I have written about is something I have definitely needed to learn: Anger, Self-Esteem, Being a Victim, Jealousy, Hurt, Conscious Parenting, Energy Sapping, Love, Guilt and Happiness. Yet, in learning about these things, have I not become more of an “expert” than others, people who don’t encounter the issues or who don’t apply themselves to the learning? I have, I believe. Hence, I am writing my ideas and sharing them with the world in this current book.
Yet, it is important to remember than no one person or group can come up with all the answers. What I am offering is my part of the understanding, probably a piece that is needed in these days and times, when something different has been needed in the past, or will be needed in the future. Now, I am focusing on my perception that far too many people in this world BELIEVE that things “happen to them,” that they have no say about their “luck,” and that once scarred in childhood, such scars cannot be fully healed. I am most preturbed with those of my fellow-psychotherapists who believe it is not POSSIBLE to actually heal and be done with painful childhood experiences. I’d like most to reach these two groups: Psychotherapists, and Everybody!
I’ve had the opportunity to raise two children, almost exclusively on my own. I’ve raised a step-become-adopted child since she was 11 (she says I have had such an influence on her that she counts me being her parent from age 8, which is when we met!). Because we have a “yours-mine-ours” group of offspring, I have opportunity to see differences that occur as a result of some of the things this “expert” has taught.
Like all parents, I have taught some things I wish I had not! Chief among those that I am good at teaching, however, is the notion that each of us creates the life we live, and that what we experience is largely up to us and can be directed. Both of the children I raised are self-employed, both fast becoming business moguls while still maintaining good relationships with their (remarkable) spouses and raising children. My adopted daughter, currently a college freshman, has been putting the pieces together and crafting, increasingly, the life she wants to live, too! It’s so fun to watch. I’m also grateful that all of them still seek my feedback and input. I seek theirs, too, now, because their wisdom and knowledge is fast surpassing my own. It is as it should be.