Healthy Conflict: Shifting from Defensive to Non-defensive Anger with Sharon Ellison – Emotional Pro

March 22nd, 2005

Sharon Ellison takes us to the root of our communication problems regarding anger, demonstrating how defensiveness leads us to power struggles, self-betrayal, vindictiveness and blame. On our next show, Ellison teaches us about her Powerful, Non-Defensive Communication (PNDC) process, which enables users to be authentic, honest and vulnerable, simultaneously, promoting closeness and connection. Through altering the basis for our communication around anger, Ellison says we can heal conflict, build self-esteem, strengthen relationships and transform organizations, reaching toward peace in our global community.

Segment 1: Healthy Conflict and Non-Defensive Anger. Huh?

Sharon Ellison tells us what "healthy conflict" and "non-defensive anger" are. Hear how she used non-defensive anger to get a tire salesman to relate person-to-person with her, instead of repeatedly telling her "you don’t need to know that" when she asked questions about the tires he was trying to sell her!

Segment 2: Power Struggles and Dealing Non-defensively with the "Cold Shoulder"
How do we engender power struggles by the ways in which we communicate? Sharon Ellison uses the example of a teen girl who wants to reconnect with an alienated male friend, to illustrate how to work with power struggles and help others open to us, even in the most difficult of circumstances.

Segment 3: Questions, Statements, Boundaries and Predictions

Non-defensive communication around anger involves asking questions of genuine curiosity, setting personal boundaries, and making "predictions." Sharon Ellison tells us, in detail, how to use these. Ilene shares a "Mother’s Day Prediction" that netted her a lemon tree–and avoided argument and bad feelings.

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