Principles Governing Life and Relationships 
(compiled by Ilene Dillon, M.F.C.C. and L.C.S.W. in 1983)

1.	Each person is individually responsible for his/her own life, its experiences, cast of characters and consequences.
2.	Each event and experience in life is an opportunity for growth.  Earth can be viewed as a giant school, whose teacher’s name is “Experience.”  In relating, seek balance.
3.	Pain spurs people to growth.  Shielding someone from pain which results from his/her own choices denies the opportunity for growth.
4.	You get what you want, not what you need.
5.	Ours is a world of duality:  for every negative quality there is its positive.
6.	What you have inside of you, you tend to attract from outside.
7.	Help not asked for never works
8.	When you operate on the motive of fear, you are guaranteed to create that which you fear.
9.	Cutting back your own personal power or energy invites abuse.
10.	Comments made by another reflect his/her beliefs and attitudes, and are not necessarily a comment about you.
11.	Share the process you are experiencing, not the content (details).
12.	Change is inevitable.  Expect it, seek it, encourage it in yourself and others.
13.	Human behavior is designed to get energy, usually in the form of attention.
14.	Each action, reaction and interaction sets a law into motion for the future.
15.	Each person has a separate, unique personal rhythm which must be respected, allowed for, and discovered.
16.	Emotions do not need to be “for a reason;” they just “are.”
17.	Emotions are transmitted, whether spoken or unspoken.
18.	Process your own feelings as much as possible before sharing them with others.
19.	Know and follow the “72 Hour Rule,” which is:  As a general rule, whenever you take a risk, make a choice or have a powerful experience, keep your thoughts and reactions to yourself for 72 hours, so that you can allow the internal “sorting” that occurs for all humans and gain the full learning benefit from the experience.
20.	Emotions left unfinished (now or later) create separateness.
21.	Sharing inner emotions with another (including anger) is a gift. Get anger out of you but not onto others.
22.	Make decisions for yourself, first, and then consult with, and get help from others.  Wait 72 hours prior to getting consultation or help, if at all possible.
23.	Compromise works only when it doesn’t build resentment.
24.	Each person has rights, including the right to ask for what one believes one needs or wants, remembering the other person’s right to say “no.”  Whatever comes up in you is important enough to discuss.
25.	Pay attention to what you want to become, not to what you want to overcome.
26.	Gratitude is the Law of Increase.