Forgiveness – Emotional Pro

March 29th, 2006

Today is an auspicious day, marked especially by a solar eclipse. I was listening to a tape distributed by my friend, Jon Fox, in which it was emphasized that this is a time for us to move ourselves toward forgiveness–all of us. Now, forgiveness was a very difficult thing for me for many years. Like most people, I was concerned that if I forgave the people I felt had wronged me, that would be “letting them off the hook.” For that reason, I didn’t even want to think about forgiveness. I wanted them to “pay,” no matter how long I had to wait for that to come to pass!
One thing changed this stance. In my investigations as I worked to free myself from being ruled by anger as an “angry person,” I learned what anger stored inside, over time, can do to me. It can skew how I see things, bloat my ego, destroy my self-esteem, block my success and make me physically ill, even kill me. Forgiveness–which means “to let go”–reverses all of those consequences of stored anger. It became clear that the person who really stays “on the hook” when I don’t forgive, is me! Once learned, I vowed to forgive as much as I possibly could, including those who had done me grievous injury as a child. I forgave them; they forgave me (for my reactions, which were angry and hurtful). That freed up so much anger (which is energy) inside of me that I finally had room to grow and prosper.
One of my former husbands (I have two) once accosted me, about 3 years after our divorce. “You have never forgiven me! I beg you, please forgive me.” My response was simple. “I have forgiven you long ago! Do you think I want to go through all I went through as I was married to you (and divorcing], only to die of cancer because I refuse to forgive you! You are long-forgiven!” It doesn’t matter what others have “done to us,” in the long run. It matters what we do with it. If we hold onto our anger, hurt and desire for vengeance, we allow our “victimizers” to get us twice! If you haven’t already forgiven everyone you can find to forgive, do it now!
Today is the time for us all to consider world-wide, humanity-wide, culture-to-culture, human to human forgiveness. Each person on this earth is part of us–we are in them; they are in us. In “Born to Learn,” I emphasize that each experience we have is an opportunity to learn. The anger, polarization, fear, hurt, greed, righteousness, indignation (etc.) so evident today all point to the same piece of learning. Forgiveness. Please join with me in thinking about forgiveness, meditating on it, imagining what life would be like if each of us (including our governments, our leaders, our citizens) forgave all. Remember: “to forgive” means “to let go.” Let go and open your heart. Let’s all let go and open our hearts, so we can free up anger, fear and hurt (all of which are energy) so we finally have room to grow and prosper in peace.

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